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Monday, August 31, 2009
My turn! Its been so long! Just got back from a lovely three day weekend trip that was truly amazing. I'm officially ready to get down and write for all you people!
Question; "Why don't you ever wear a scarf? It doesn't need to be cold outside for your neck to feel naked." Answer; I'm so glad that I have a reasonably appropriate question this time. The truth of the matter is that I don't wear scarves. Ever. I have like... two scarves and I only break them out when absolutely necessary. The first scarf I ever bought was at H&M and it is this dark gray number that was woven in this really cool plaid pattern. I had liked it originally, but like... as soon as I had worn it for one day, my friends started talking about how it was a keffiyeh and it had this whole other meaning and they were sorta making me feel ignorant as to the war that is going on in the Middle East. However, since I can never fully come to realize my ignorance just because people try and tell me that I don't know the messages that I relay through my clothing or whatever, I went and researched these keffiyehs and I quickly found out that this scarf I bought looked nothing like a keffiyeh except for the fact that it had tassels on the end of it. Anyways, even though I found this out, I just completely stopped wearing the scarf because people keep on talking to me about it and I don't want to hear the same redundant story over and over again. Of course, in reality, I support the message behind the keffiyeh, but I figure since I'm some white teenager, I must not know anything at all about that stuff. Anyways, as for my naked neck, I constantly tell those who I talk fashion to that I just can't rock the scarf. And, if you know me, a cold neck is nothing compared to looking good. In all honesty, if I found a way to wear a scarf in a reasonably fashionable fashion, I would like... rock it night and day, 24/7. But I cannot imagine how one would go about wearing a scarf while sporting tees and skinny jeans. I've tried it before and I just look pretentious. Plus there's the whole deal about matching colors because I hate super sporadic color schemes and I always focus towards the monochromatic schemes or contrasting colors, with occasionaly mixes, but I definitely don't like going past like.... two colors in an outfit or something, and all the scarves I see are either super colorful or super bland, neither of which I am particularly keen on wearing. However, if anyone happens to know of a nice scarf to add to my remote, infinitesimally small collection of accessories, I would love to hear about it. Who knows? Maybe my neck will start having some clothes of its own. Labels: Tristan
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Question:
"Describe the sound of a moist waffle falling onto a hot griddle." This is a fairly interesting question, to say the least. Now, I've got to be completely honest, I haven't eaten waffles all too often, and whenever I have eaten waffles they were made by one of those nifty, futuristic, chrome waffle makers that take batter and after a few flips yield some perfectly latticed carbohydrate creation. I was never really a fan of those Eggo waffles just because they were already made. In this day and age I try to avoid things that already come pre-packed because I just feel it loses its authenticity sometimes. Now, I understand that not every one is a culinary master, nor do I claim that I am one, and yes, there are times where using a packaged meal is actually the wiser choice, but with the amount of preservatives in it, I try my hardest to avoid these products. But I digress. Whenever I've had the opportunity to eat these Eggo waffles I don't think I ever fried them, but I imagine the sound of a moist waffle against a hot griddle must be some sort of erotic and passionate sound. Some believe that the word moist in and of itself is already a rather controversial word, while a hot griddle only adds more sizzle. I imagine the sound to be risque yet lovely. I can just hear the sweet sizzling as the main melody, but the subtle popping of water pockets to be tantalizing. I feel so perverted for even thinking about it, now that I mention it. To me, I think that it would sound so carnal and savage that it pulls out the beast in any refined epicurean. I can just hear the oozing and splatter almost as if cooking the waffle was some sort of lecherous sexual display. Now, if that hasn't convinced you to go out and buy a package of Eggo waffles, just imagine the soft, luscious embrace of maple syrup slathered against the glimmering skin of the waffle. Right? I think I may have converted myself to eating a fried Eggo waffle; how completely counterintuitive. Eggo should pay me to advertise. Labels: Jazz
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Allow me to start this blog with a question that, at first glance, I have no clue what to do with. Hopefully, in a matter of moments, I will know what to do with it.
The Question: "You have a red jar of cedar chips. Why do moths miss the forest?" The Answer: At first glance, I have to wonder one thing. Why in the world do I have a red jar of cedar chips? And then, immediately, I remember that answering a question with a question is one quick way to boredom. The best way to answer this question is to flesh this thing out with some level of rationality. Red jars seem like as good a container as any for holding cedar chips. However, just knowing that I have a jar of cedar chips is annoying, because I know for a fact that cedar chips must smell disgusting. I just don't like the scent of cedar. However, this scent is, perhaps, the very reason that moths miss the forest. It is a moth's innate nature to be attracted to the scent of cedar. However, moths cannot smell cedar in its standing, tree form. So, naturally, moths gather around groupings of cedar chips because, at that point, they are capable of smelling the scent that attracts them in such a primal way. These cedar chips, however, are never found spread around the forest, which is the moth's true habitat. Consciously, the moth enjoys the enchanting nature of the green trees and the wild shrubbery that inhabits the forest. The problem arises, however, when the moth's subconscious overrides their conscious. Such an event is common, as the moth does not have enough room in its head for a large, powerful conscious, such as the ones that humans are known to have. So, naturally, whenever a moth smells a jar of cedar chips, they are hard-pressed to fly towards such a jar. This is the very reason that moths are so hard to find in a forest. The fact remains that, at one point in time, moths were once beings that were rife with emotions, tempted by the nymphs of the forest. These Lepidopterans quickly found their heartstrings being tugged by the beautiful spirits of the forest. Cupid was quick to bless them with an endless amount of lust for wood and the like, but, at the same time, some contemptuous god who could never find love cursed the moths with tiny bodies and a powerful, feral need to search out the chips of a cedar tree that have been removed from forests. It is quite a sad reality that moths are forced to live with, day by day, but such are the things that such beautiful creatures must live with. In conclusion, I must apologize for the ridiculous and epic hilarity that is this blog post. As it seems, this is the type of enjoyment one will experience with my blog answers. Perhaps they will get more and more enjoyable as time goes on. Perhaps the questions will get better. Even I don't know that much. I will, however, keep on keeping on. Who knows, maybe I'll write something worth reading some day? Labels: cedar chips, forest nymphs, moths, primal lusts, Tristan Welcome, Friends, to the Bathroom Cafe.
Without a doubt, this will be the one place where you will ever find anything quite so intriguing. In short, Bathroom Cafe is a collaboration blog with a premise that is even stranger than any of the collaborators. I don't know how many of you know about the Blogger profiles that blogger.com offers each individual blogger, but this blog, essentially, revolves around the "Random Question" section of every profile. In essence, every post you will see on this blog following this very quick introductory post will contain one of these questions, and one answer to said question. If you know the questions, you'll know that they are, without a doubt, rather unique. Unique might not even be the right word. Essentially, they are perfect for inspiration to writers such as the ones that will grace this blog. We will be your Bathroom Baristas, and we will introduce ourselves with our first blog post. Admittedly, at this point, there are only two of us, but both of us can't wait to find other bloggers who want to take on this exciting adventure. If you think you'd like to take part in this, get in contact with us, either through comments, or emails, or what-have-you. We'd love to give you a shot, at the very least. We don't know how this will go about developing, but we're very open to all ideas. Even if you're not a blogger, I figure you can have a role in our blog by, perhaps, asking "Random Questions" of your own, which we may take and write a blog out of. For now, sit back, relax, and enjoy your latte. |